I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
