Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
