I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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