I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize