brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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