remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
