If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
