my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
