I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
