saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
