Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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