Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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