So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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