There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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