So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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