imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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