i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
