You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my being single is dangerous.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
