I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
jump out the window naked night went bad
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