I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
