My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
