so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think I sprained my soul last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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