I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize