After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
