Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
