During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
