VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
