So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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