that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize