If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
