I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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