you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
