Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
