next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
