I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
4 words: hood of his car
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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