she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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