he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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