I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
