i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
