honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
