I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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