how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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