There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
