ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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