My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She's the barista slut.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
