I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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