I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
