So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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