It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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