Got a toothbrush?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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