I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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