Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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