She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize