just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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