Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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