Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
