I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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