I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
