So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
