shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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