On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
