i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
