I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
