i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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