Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How does one acquire holy water?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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