i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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