I wish my penis had an off switch
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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