i think i have herpe
just one?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
