It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
