i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
