Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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