I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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