put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
