sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
