i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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